Youre first Queef

The first time you queef is a lot like Christina Aguileras performance of the national anthem at the super bowl, you’re kinda confused on what just happened, you wonder “Omg was that a fart?” (because lets face it all you hear when christina sings is shit, literally) you try to cover it up, maybe even laugh it off but we all know what just happened. My first queef was odd and unexpected as im sure most are. There I was at the tender age of 15 fucking my then boyfriend on the floor of my bathroom while my parents were out of town when bam, it happened, my first queef. my immediate reaction was to grab my knee and scream “AHHH MY KNEE!(?)!!! DID YOU JUST HEAR THAT?! IT LIKE POPPED OUT OF PLACE” and my then boyfriend, god bless his penis, totally believed me. he was like “OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY DID I HURT YOU?” I was like “no no, im okay just a little cramp THATS ALL” and in my head im like “phew, Im SO glad he didnt realize what just happened” so we keep on going for as long as two 15 year olds can fuck for and then as soon as he pulls out, it happens again, the mother of all queefs forms in my vagina and just lets out like a fucking lion roaring over his new found kingdom. we both looked at each other for a long time and finally I say “Yeah, that was a queef” We broke up a week later.